whenever i put on deep sea cthulhu ambience my girlfriend tries to initiate sex
“When I put on the fuck vibes my gf tries to fuck?” 🤔
STOP IT THERES NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT DARK AMBIENCE AND EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL SHE TURNS OVER FROM ABOUT TO SLEEP TO TRYING TO FUCK!!! ITS CRAZY!!!
Have you considered that your gf may be some kind of abyssal creature and you’re basically just putting on deep-sea Marvin Gaye?
my only scp opinion is that whenever somebody is getting really really angry in a video game text chat i just say ‘Did you know that world-renowned writer Stephen King once got hit by a car? Just something to consider’ and it invariably confuses them into chilling out
if anyone was ever curious as to how this came to be, a friend of mine ended up writing this after one day on discord where they had all been discussing game of thrones when it was a thing that was actively still coming out on tv and hadn’t gotten far enough to sour itself yet, and i had stephen king on the brain for some reason, and after tabbing in to read these long convos about something i didn’t know anything about or really understand in the slightest i was just thinking about how king was really hung up on that one time he got hit by a car to the point where he literally self-inserted himself as a character into the dark tower series and had it be a plot point that he was hit by a car, and in my brain i cobbled that into me both wanting to join into the conversation but also shitpost at the same time about a topic that a fair amount of us were at least passingly familiar with (that being stephen king)
after doing it multiple times that day, exactly word-for-word every single time, it ended up w/ me being asked if i was fine with it being used as a hook for an scp, lol. to this day it’s my only and proudest contribution to the internet and i’m glad it vaguely pops up every now and then like a pretty little dandelion so i can be reminded of the influence of my horrible posting
you have literally done more for society than any us marine
ALT
