frontseatpocket:

get panini pressed, idiot

l3wdbee:

blotsukai:

l3wdbee:

blotsukai:

whenever i put on deep sea cthulhu ambience my girlfriend tries to initiate sex

“When I put on the fuck vibes my gf tries to fuck?” 🤔

STOP IT THERES NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT DARK AMBIENCE AND EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL SHE TURNS OVER FROM ABOUT TO SLEEP TO TRYING TO FUCK!!! ITS CRAZY!!!

Have you considered that your gf may be some kind of abyssal creature and you’re basically just putting on deep-sea Marvin Gaye?

hungwy:

ten thousand dogs running through a field to catch twenty thousand waterfowl which land safely in five thousand ponds each one thousand meters cubed

txttletale:

acridrainshowers:

txttletale:

chill4234-reblogs:

txttletale:

my only scp opinion is that whenever somebody is getting really really angry in a video game text chat i just say ‘Did you know that world-renowned writer Stephen King once got hit by a car? Just something to consider’ and it invariably confuses them into chilling out

How is this related to scp? Genuinely confused

https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2293

if anyone was ever curious as to how this came to be, a friend of mine ended up writing this after one day on discord where they had all been discussing game of thrones when it was a thing that was actively still coming out on tv and hadn’t gotten far enough to sour itself yet, and i had stephen king on the brain for some reason, and after tabbing in to read these long convos about something i didn’t know anything about or really understand in the slightest i was just thinking about how king was really hung up on that one time he got hit by a car to the point where he literally self-inserted himself as a character into the dark tower series and had it be a plot point that he was hit by a car, and in my brain i cobbled that into me both wanting to join into the conversation but also shitpost at the same time about a topic that a fair amount of us were at least passingly familiar with (that being stephen king)

after doing it multiple times that day, exactly word-for-word every single time, it ended up w/ me being asked if i was fine with it being used as a hook for an scp, lol. to this day it’s my only and proudest contribution to the internet and i’m glad it vaguely pops up every now and then like a pretty little dandelion so i can be reminded of the influence of my horrible posting

you have literally done more for society than any us marine

clover-mouse:

A drawing of a chubby shark-themed mermaid girl. She has her hands folded in front of her, and her eyes are shut as she smiles toward the viewer. Her hair is short and fluffy. She has golden jewelry in piercings on her ears and tail, one of which is a dangling skeleton key, and another looks like a fishing hook. She also wears a fishing net tied loosely around her chest like a top.ALT

been having fun just putting together lil character designs. shark girl time. i think she likes to eat crabs like hamburgers (shell and all)

dommeunist:

tooies:

microwave mimic that just eats the food instead of cooking it

image

tags written by microwave mimic. “oh just reach in the moment the food is 1 second from ready. yeah your whole arm.”

qaz-the-great:

qaz-the-great:

he lets me hit bc i say shit like ‘alas’

image